Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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