Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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