we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
how does that bad decision feel?
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