Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
