I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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