Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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