so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
