Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
