She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Your dad touched me again.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
