There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
