Sry I called you an 8
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She bit a glass in half.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
