Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Still dying that you shit outside
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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