you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
