Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
