I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
