WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
