i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
