I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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