Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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