i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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