i think my tv is drunk
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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