Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
