we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Is Oprah even human
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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