Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
