before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
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I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
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We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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