Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
