I must be too annoying 4 u.
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
