im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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