I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the day after is always just damage control
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
