dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
