okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
