can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
