i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
