What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
