The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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