Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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