How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
