I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
