I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
