Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
