I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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