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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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