How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
