either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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