Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize