She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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