i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
