i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize