I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
