Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
