Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
