He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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