I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
