I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
