im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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