I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
