is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
