I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
