how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
