She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
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Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
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I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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