How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
