I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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