Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
