my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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