Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
