I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
