1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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