I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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