i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
