I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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