did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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